To all the boys I've loved before
Netflix is bringing back rom-coms and I love them for it. From the cheesy almost Hallmark-like A Christmas Prince to the surprisingly charming Set It Up, I have consumed each Netflix original rom-com like a kid opening up presents on their birthday. If I'm being totally honest, I'm a sucker for an adorable meet-cute and a happy ending because like the protagonist of this particular rom-com, I sometimes prefer to live in the fantasy world of these movies than face the awful experiences of reality.
But "To all the boys..." is more than just a form of escape for me. It was a movie that reached a level few movies have ever achieved because as soon as I finished it, all I wanted to do was watch it again. So I did (the next day, that is). And it was just as amazing as the first time through. Even among my favorite movies this quality is extremely rare, the closest I've gotten is a re-watch within a few weeks of the first encounter. So what makes this particular film extra special?
Well for starters, having an Asian American leading lady is pretty damn cool. I love that Jenny Han and co. wouldn't settle for a white-washed cast, that it was important for them to keep the characters true to who they were written as. Over the past decade, we've seen the diversity numbers in Hollywood go up, but while African Americans and Hispanic Americans were gaining representation on the silver screen, I still didn't get to see people like me in more than a supporting role. This year has changed that (see Crazy Rich Asians), and it's rather exciting.
But it's not only the fact that we have an Asian American actress playing an Asian American protagonist. It's also the way that her race is portrayed, like it's just a part her everyday life, an important piece of who she is but isn't the only thing that she is. I love how normal Lara Jean's Korean heritage is portrayed in the film. It's not special or different, it doesn't need extra highlighting. It's just a fact that's there, along with the fact that her mother has passed away and that her sister is going to college in Scotland. It affects her life, impacts who she is as a person, but doesn't totally define her. Not ignored, but not spotlighted. And that's how it should be because that is how it is in real life.
The other special factor of this movie is that it entered my life when things were all topsy-turvy and a bit of a mess. Like Lara Jean, I harbored a crush on a boy who I wasn't supposed to have feelings for. And also like Lara Jean, Peter Kavinsky helped me deal with it. I know he's not real, but Peter represents something to me that few rom-com male leads have managed to capture. He embodies the ideal high school crush: the confident super cute jock (am I the only one who loves that he plays lacrosse?) who is surprisingly sweet and has a lot more to him than meets the eye. In this world of dating apps and compatibility tests, I feel like I'm always compromising. What trade-offs am I willing to make if a guy checks the right boxes? Peter Kavinsky made me realize that I'm far too young to be settling and that maybe it's ok to want someone who looks at you like sexy little rubik's cube but is also willing to drive all the way across town to the Korean store to get those yogurt drinks you love so much.
Even with all that, I haven't even hit on what makes Peter Kavinsky the perfect boyfriend yet. The best part of Peter is the way that he helps LJ open up to the rest of the world. It's how her best friend Chris and her dad both noticed the way she shines and comes to life when she is with him. Your bae should always amplify your light and never diminish who you are. You should be the best version of yourself with them, which is exactly what LJ and Peter bring out in each other. That is what makes Peter Kavinsky the perfect boyfriend. So can you see why two viewings of this movie has managed to cure me of my crush?
The last thing that I love about this movie is its message of, in the words of Josh Sanderson, "telling people how you feel when you feel it." You can't spend your whole life locked up in your room fantasizing and writing love letters that will never be sent. Life and love is about taking risks. It's true that you might get hurt, actually you have a pretty high probability of getting hurt, but if you never take the leap you might miss out on something amazing. As Lana Condor expressed in an interview, life is way too short not to tell people how you feel.
And there you have it. A relatable lead character, the perfect crush, a valuable life lesson, and high school nostalgia for the ages. It's beautifully filmed (I swear it makes me want to move to the burbs of Portland) and scored (the soundtrack is amazing, I've been listening to it on repeat). It's everything I could ever ask for wrapped up into a neat little consumable 2 hour package that I'm sure I'll be watching again and again for years to come. And despite the fact that I think the movie is perfect as it is, I definitely wouldn't object to a sequel of book two... in case you're reading this Netflix ;)
Well for starters, having an Asian American leading lady is pretty damn cool. I love that Jenny Han and co. wouldn't settle for a white-washed cast, that it was important for them to keep the characters true to who they were written as. Over the past decade, we've seen the diversity numbers in Hollywood go up, but while African Americans and Hispanic Americans were gaining representation on the silver screen, I still didn't get to see people like me in more than a supporting role. This year has changed that (see Crazy Rich Asians), and it's rather exciting.
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| The Covey sisters, yay diversity! |
The other special factor of this movie is that it entered my life when things were all topsy-turvy and a bit of a mess. Like Lara Jean, I harbored a crush on a boy who I wasn't supposed to have feelings for. And also like Lara Jean, Peter Kavinsky helped me deal with it. I know he's not real, but Peter represents something to me that few rom-com male leads have managed to capture. He embodies the ideal high school crush: the confident super cute jock (am I the only one who loves that he plays lacrosse?) who is surprisingly sweet and has a lot more to him than meets the eye. In this world of dating apps and compatibility tests, I feel like I'm always compromising. What trade-offs am I willing to make if a guy checks the right boxes? Peter Kavinsky made me realize that I'm far too young to be settling and that maybe it's ok to want someone who looks at you like sexy little rubik's cube but is also willing to drive all the way across town to the Korean store to get those yogurt drinks you love so much.
The last thing that I love about this movie is its message of, in the words of Josh Sanderson, "telling people how you feel when you feel it." You can't spend your whole life locked up in your room fantasizing and writing love letters that will never be sent. Life and love is about taking risks. It's true that you might get hurt, actually you have a pretty high probability of getting hurt, but if you never take the leap you might miss out on something amazing. As Lana Condor expressed in an interview, life is way too short not to tell people how you feel.
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