The Endgame was so worth it

11 years, 22 movies, 6 original Avengers. To quote Doctor Strange:

and oh what a brilliant endgame it is.

As this post will clearly contain spoilers to Avengers: Endgame, consider this your spoiler warning. Read ahead at your own peril.

I am by no means a typical Marvel comic fan. Actually, I don't think I'd even call myself a real comic fan as I've never actually been able to finish a full comic. But when Marvel (and Disney) embarked on a mission to bring these rich, complicated, heroic characters to life on the big screen, I got sucked in. Because while I may not like comics, I love a good story.

It's been about a week since I saw Endgame and I still can't stop thinking about it. Part of that is because I'm having a really hard time piecing together the implications of that time travel plot (we'll get to this later), but the other part is that I'm scared that if I stop thinking about it, if I let it go, then it will really be over. When Iron Man premiered in 2008, I was a teenager in high school, and now more than a decade later, I'm an adult who still waits in anticipation for the release of a superhero movie with the same zeal and eagerness of that same teenager. Like Harry Potter, the Avengers phases 1, 2, and 3 will mark a significant portion of my life, giving me hope that no matter how crazy or messed up the world becomes, there are still heroes amongst us who will do whatever it takes to save humanity.

But enough about what this movie means to me (for now). This is meant to be a blog post about Endgame so let's talk about it real quick, shall we?

I just want to say that there were so many things I loved in this movie I don't think I could possibly write them all down. There were countless callbacks and references to moments in earlier movies (Cap's elevator scene anyone?) and character appearances (Howard the Duck accompanying the fallen to fight Thanos!) I felt vindicated in having watched 18 of the 22 movies (don't worry, I'll probably get to the missing 4 at some point, except maybe Thor 2 even if it was integral to the Endgame plot). To all the haters out there who kept telling me it wasn't worth it, boy were you SO wrong. And that time travel plot was such a brilliant way to honor fans who had invested the time in the universe, bringing us back to moments we were intimately familiar with but showing a different side of it. I felt like Endgame was as much a love letter to these characters we have grown so fond of as it was to the fanbase that supported them and made it possible to turn this dream into a reality.

It's also nice to see just how far the universe has come. There's a pivotal moment in the final battle where Captain Marvel has the infinity gauntlet and before she takes off to try and deliver it to Scott, she is surrounded by all the women of the MCU in one glorious shot. Some people might claim that this scene was just gratuitous on Marvel's part, but as a modern feminist, I really appreciated it. I appreciated the acknowledgement that's taken the film industry so long to give: that women are a part of this story too, not just as love interests or supporting characters, but as heroes of our own stories and heroes of the world.

I won't say it's a perfect film. Despite thoroughly enjoying the 3 hour experience and not even feeling its length, there were still some things that left me confused or displeased after the excitement and gleam of the film washed away. As mentioned above, I'm still not sure how the whole time travel thing completely worked. Most of the branched timelines were erased or closed but there are three that may be open for debate. So let's debate them.

Avengers 2012
The first is Loki from 2012, but this one is actually the one that makes the most sense. You can probably interpret it in one of a few ways: a) Loki just got the stone to Thanos quicker than before and the events then realigned with the main reality at some point even if certain events didn't come to pass b) Thor eventually caught up to Loki again, just later than in 2012 so things eventually realigned or c) 2012 missing Loki and the tesseract means there's a branched reality out there (which may be explored in Disney+ miniseries on Loki). Any of these options seem viable and easy enough to justify with the way time travel is explained in the movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy 2014
This one is a bit harder. As you may recall, Gamora, Nebula, Thanos and crew travel into the future via 2023 Nebula's device. This means there is a branch in this timeline where all the bad guys are just inexplicably missing, so perhaps everything after the opening of Guardians doesn't actually happen in this branch? However, you could argue that this branch eventually gets realigned with the main reality when Thanos' army is dusted because in both, the mad Titan is dead and everyone is, for the most part, accounted for (with 2014 Nebula being dead but 2023 Nebula carrying on their life). And since you cannot change your future by going into the past (linear timeline theory), Nebula killing her 2014 self should not and does not cause her to disappear. The one wrench in all this is 2014 Gamora. If she had died the loop would have just closed and it might have all been ok. But there's a good chance she is still out there and missing, what with Peter Quill actively searching for her, so here's hoping that Guardians 3 will explore this story and provide some explanation on what this might mean for the MCU going forward.

Captain America 1945
The last is perhaps the most confusing for me but also the one I'm most willing to let go because nobody deserved this happy ending more than Steve Rogers. So to summarize, Cap is tasked with putting the infinity stones back in the places in time where the Avengers found them. Then on his way to his current present, he just decides to stay with Peggy in the past instead and make that dance he promised her all those years ago. So in our present reality, we find an old Steve sitting on a bench waiting for Sam Wilson to pass on his shield to, with a knowing Bucky looking on the scene. It's a beautiful ending for someone who really does represent the best of us (he's worthy of Mjolnir for goodness sake, I don't think you need more proof than that) but leaves a few open questions. Has Cap always been Peggy's mysterious husband? Were there two Steve Rogers this entire time? Or has he come from a branched reality? And if so, how does he make it back there to that bench? The romantic in me likes to think that we had two Steves the whole time and that he was always Peggy's husband. How he stayed hidden from the world for 70 years may be a difficult question to answer but he is an Avenger after all, and from the future, so I don't think it would be an impossible task.

Ok so now that we've tackled the time travel dilemma, let's go into some details about the original 6 Avengers' final bows.

Clint
I don't have much to say about Hawkeye's ending, except that it was nice to see him get pulled back from the brink by a determined Black Widow (a role reversal, one of the many in this film), get addressed by his first name by T'Challah after that unceremonious "I don't care" in Civil War, and ultimately reunited with his family. Some might argue that it should've been Clint who plummeted to his death on Vormir instead of Nat but that just wouldn't have felt right to me. Instead Clint gets to spend the rest of his life making it up to his Budapest partner in crime, to make sure the second chance she gave him wasn't in vain.

Thor and Professor Hulk
Ever since Thor Ragnorak, I've viewed these two as almost a package and in Endgame, they still kind of are. But they're more like a magnet with two opposing sides than peas in a pod. After the events of Infinity War, or rather after the first 20 minutes of Endgame, Thor and Hulk go in completely contrasting directions. When we link up with Bruce again 5 years later, he is in his Professor Hulk persona, a combination of both Bruce and the Hulk, the best of both worlds, the epitome of acceptance. Thor on the other hand is going through some serious shit. He's in complete denial and has been so utterly devastated by his inability to stop Thanos that he's turned into a glutinous alcoholic. Far from that chiseled-bicep-axe-hammer-wielding-weirdly-funny-hunk we've come to love, Thor is a hot mess and is so emotionally unstable the Avengers won't even let him use the Iron Man Gauntlet because they're afraid his fragile psyche can't stand the strain.

While I like the idea the writers tried to pursue with these characters, juxtaposing them with each other and letting Professor Hulk help Thor out this time (see I told you there were a bunch of role reversals!), I think they might have gone a bit too far. Professor Hulk is a nice nod to comic fans but it seems to almost preclude the possibility of any future Hulk storylines because, well, what is there  left to explore with him? So he's just kind of done and in that state forever, which doesn't really feel like a happy ending but maybe it was and I'm just missing the point. As for Thor... it makes sense that he didn't just all of a sudden exercise out his beer belly (but he could've gotten a haircut at least) yet it really did seem like they just took the Ragnorak humor past what it was meant to be. I get that serious Thor was a bore and funny Thor was a hit, but hot mess Thor is kind of sad and cringey to watch. Maybe that was the point too but the overly humorous use of this character undercut that messaging a bit. Hopefully the Guardians will be able to straighten him out, not to mention his comedic relief is probably a bit more appreciated in that forum than in Endgame, but it's very clear Marvel has no idea where to take this character next. It feels like they realized the Asgardians of the Galaxy was a hit in Infinity War so until Chris Hemsworth decides he wants to call it quits this is as good of a place for the homeless god as any other film. I'm not sure I'll necessarily like where this is going to go but I would like to see the old Thor back because he deserves a conclusive (whether happy or not) ending too.

Natasha
I should have seen this one coming but I didn't. Even when they stepped down onto Vormir, I realized one of them had to go but I hadn't realized it would be her. Not until Clint said "Then I guess we both know who it's got to be", and Nat responded "I guess we do". The writers did a good job with this scene, keeping everyone on edge as the two tussle for the right to plummet to their death. It's a difficult trade-off to make. They've both done terrible things, they both have reasons for wanting to make the sacrifice. But there is one very distinct difference: Clint has a family. I'm not saying having a family gives you more of a reason to live, Tony gave all that up to save the world - ahem - universe. If anything it gives you more of a reason to make the sacrifice, and that's exactly why it makes sense for Nat to be the one to give up her soul for the soul stone. Because the Avengers are her family. And for someone who has done everything in her power to keep protecting the universe over the last 5 years while the rest of the crew tried to (or failed to) move on, it also makes sense that she would do the unthinkable to ensure their survival, safety, and happiness. Whatever it takes, right? It's the perfect conclusion to her redemption arc, even if it's so very painful for the rest of us to witness. It would have been nice if the team were given the opportunity to properly mourn her, but I get that a fancy funeral like Tony's isn't her style. So even though it feels like too little, perhaps Clint and Wanda's touching moment by the lake really was enough.

Steve
I can't even begin to describe how much this movie makes me fall in love with Captain America. In my opinion he's always been the most attractive Avenger but not always the most interesting. If anything he's kind of like vanilla ice cream but if Steve Rogers' story proves anything, it's that vanilla ice cream can actually be quite nuanced.

This whole film in many ways is a fan service, but it is also a tribute to Captain America and Iron Man, the first Avenger and the man who started it all, respectively. Over the past decade, Steve has been through a lot. He's woken up out of natural cryogenic sleep, learned to adapt his 1940s way of thinking to the 2010s, discovered that the organization he thought he helped take down when he plunged into some ice was secretly alive and well in the new organization that has adopted him, lost the love of his life because she was really old, found his best friend who apparently didn't die when he fell off a train, learned that said best friend murdered the parents of one of his new friends while brainwashed, went into hiding and broke the law a bunch because he didn't want to be controlled by the government, really got into it with his new friend when new friend found out what his old best friend did, and... oh fought a bunch of aliens and witnessed half the world get dusted. If that's not interesting, I don't know what is. But despite it all, Cap has managed to stay a fundamentally good person, a beacon of hope for others in the darkest of times. He is ever loyal, and truly believes in the good in all of us. The dude has got a heart of gold and his humility and worthiness is only affirmed by his ability to wield Mjolnir.

He's also got some of the best reference moments and one-liners in the movie. From "Hail Hydra" to "I can do this all day" to "on your left", I loved all the little Cap nuggets that were included here. It was incredibly satisfying to finally hear him say the words "Avengers assemble" as he stood up to Thanos and his army with everyone and anyone by his side. Not to mention he's got America's ass, which is objectively true by the way.

So it makes a lot of sense that after making up with Tony ("Do you trust me?", "I do"), jumping through time, getting everyone back, fighting Thanos, defeating Thanos, and putting back the infinity stones, that Cap decides to go get some of that life Tony is always telling him to get by staying in the past with Peggy. He's truly making the most out of the opportunity Tony gave up his life to get him. This of course creates some weird timeline questions as I detailed above but despite that is still the perfect ending for our First Avenger. For someone who has always done what was right for others, it was time that he did what was right for himself. With the universe safe, for the most part, Steve hands off the mantle of Captain America to Sam Wilson, knowing he's left it in capable hands and that he, like Tony, can now finally rest.

Tony
What can I say about Tony Stark that hasn't already been said about him? The man, the legend, the legacy. Iron Man is the one who started off this crazy 11 year journey and also the one who ended it. Fitting isn't it that his response to Thanos' "I am inevitable" is "I am Iron Man" right before he snaps his way to victory.

Like Steve, Tony has had one hell of a story arc, going from billionaire playboy philanthropist to team player to husband and father to that guy who lays down on the wire and lets the other guy crawl over him, the guy to make the sacrifice play. With Robert Downey Jr.'s contract finally at an end, it's not unexpected that Iron Man meets his demise in the final installment of Avengers. You can see his death coming from a mile away but it doesn't make it any less impactful when it happens. Knowing that Doctor Strange sacrificed the time stone to save Tony, seeing him get that final moment with his father Howard in 1970, watching him go off on one last adventure - this time with Pepper's blessing - you know it doesn't bode well for his survival. It hurts to watch Peter hold him as he struggles to retain consciousness (similar to how Tony held Peter after he was snapped away - yay role reversals at it again!). It's heartbreaking to hear Pepper tell him that they'll be ok and that he can rest now. In this tragic moment the one thing we can hold onto is that he finally became the best version of himself that he could be (not unlike Nat as she threw herself off the cliff on Vormir). And this is illustrated beautifully at his funeral with all those whose lives he had touched present to say goodbye, including a grown up Harley Keener. Tony Stark has come a long way from the man who refused the Avengers Initiative and was then refused by the Avengers Initiative due to his textbook narcissism. Even though he may be gone, his legacy lives on: in his daughter Morgan (cheeseburgers anyone?), in Peter Parker who was the reason Tony decided to solve time travel in the first place, in Harley, in Pepper, in all the Avengers, present and future.

And it also lives on in all of us who got to witness his story. Iron Man is and always will be my favorite Avenger. Because not only did he make being smart (and being a nerd) pretty cool, but he also taught us that we all have the ability to grow and change, to become the best person we can be.

There is no way that these movies occupied the same place in my life as it did for the actors, writers, directors, and crew, but what makes a movie iconic and meaningful is how it resonates with the audience. These films changed the lives of so many involved in their production but they also changed the lives of the audience members who lined up to see them. They united us against a common enemy and showed us that we will always be stronger together than we are apart. Even in storylines that require the greatest suspension of disbelief, what grounds it is the human aspect of the film. How we relate to the characters and see ourselves in them. And how even though I don't have super powers, these characters inspire me to be a better version of myself everyday. So #ThankYouAvengers for all that you've taught me, the united experiences you've given to us, and the brightness you've brought into my life. I love you 3000.