From Our Song to Lover: My Taylor Swift Journey
Originally written October 14, 2019.
As I sit here, waiting in a virtual queue for the chance to buy tickets to Lover Fest 2020, I thought I would honor Taylor Swift by writing yet another blog post about her. And me. What better way to show the fan dedication that landed me a registered presale spot (even if I'm so far down the list that Ticketmaster can't even tell me what my spot in line is) than to tell my Taylor Swift fan story?
Spoilers, it's not a very moving or interesting tale, but I've got a lot of time to kill so why not. If I finish early I can maybe even move on to the idea of Donald Trump and Late Night TV that I've just concocted in my head. Besides, the montage of me typing out this story is already soundtracked to Lover quietly playing in my living room, so the scene is set, we might as well begin.
Taylor and I were first acquainted some time in 2007 through Our Song. She was a 16 year old country phenom who had just dropped her first album, and I was an awkward 13 year old middle schooler who spent too much time rereading Harry Potter. To be honest, I was not a country music fan (still am not really) and I barely knew who she was. But there was something about that one particular song, how it resonated with my teenage romanticized ideas of romance. After all, that was the point of my life of unrequited school crushes, obsessing over Zac Efron in High School Musical, and too much of The O.C. Pair that state of mind with 4 weeks at an all girls summer camp, and it's no wonder this song became sort of an anthem for us. It was also the first song I learned on the guitar (at summer camp) - a nice break from the Oasis classic Wonderwall - and it marked the beginning of our 12 year relationship.
The next time Taylor popped up on my radar was a year or so later when Love Story made its way into my high school dances. Oh look! I finally got a real number, there are now 1513 people in front of me! She is and has always been a magnificent story-teller, and Love Story was just a testament to her talent. What other 19 year old could dream up such an eloquent happy ending for Romeo and Juliet? Shortly after came You Belong With Me, which emboldened me to go after the boy next door, and White Horse, which got me through the pain when things didn't work out.
After high school, Taylor and I then went through a few years of being acquaintances. I heard about her in passing, a few songs made it through the airwaves to me but I didn't really keep tabs on her. I never sang her praises publicly, I only knew the most popular songs from the radio, and I kept my admiration for her songwriting a secret. To be honest, I never felt comfortable expressing my appreciation of Taylor because of the judgement of my peers and the stigma that came with liking an artist who "only wrote songs about her ex-boyfriends". I mean, my favorite band, to this day, is Vampire Weekend. And when people hear that, they have a really hard time reconciling an indie music lover with someone who also appreciates the Country-Pop Princess. College kids are judgmental, especially hipster Californians who go to Berkeley. I should've just ignored them or asked them "why you gotta be so Mean" but I wasn't mature enough to Shake It Off yet, and neither was Taylor (that would have to wait another four years).
And it may have been because of this that I completely missed out on Speak Now, which was released my freshman year of college (or maybe I was just too busy crying over Toy Story 3). Whatever the cause, it wasn't until a few years later that I would discover some of my favorite ballads from our girl. But I'll get to this later.
In 2012, when Red came out, I also seemed to have just missed the Taylor train. Of course I knew about the goat meme heard around the world, and oddly 22 became an age that I looked forward to just because I knew there would be a song I could play on my 22nd birthday. I also began to become aware of how ridiculously catchy her songs were, initially finding We Are Never Getting Back Together to be repetitive and childish until it got lodged in my head and wouldn't leave. But the inkling of there being something special right under my nose never quite crystalized into a complete awareness so I went through my college years never fully realizing what I had missed. In the same way that Taylor was just sliding gradually into pop, I was sliding gradually into a fandom, albeit she was doing it consciously, I was not.
Then 1989 happened, and there was a seismic shift. When she completed her migration from country to pop, it was like something in the world had changed and nothing would ever be the same again.
I was into her released singles enough that when she decided to play a show at Levi's Stadium, in my backyard, I decided it was time to finally see her live. It also helped that I had a good friend who was a fan from the early days and the two of us had something to celebrate: our one year Google-versaries. So we bought ourselves some tickets and went to the show. That concert changed everything. One show, one night, 18 songs later, and any layers I used to hide this part of me behind fell away completely. As Taylor embraced her place in this world as Queen of Pop, I embraced my place as a Swiftie. I went home and the next day bought my first Taylor Swift CD: the 1989 deluxe edition from target, with 3 additional songs and 3 voice memos. I also rediscovered Speak Now (thanks to the Enchanted / Wildest Dreams mashup) and Red (with all its hidden gems like Begin Again and All Too Well).
But even with my newfound obsession, I was, and still am, a casual Swiftie. When the world came crashing down around her in the summer of 2016, I defended her verbally to those around me but I was not loyal or devoted enough to participate in the social media tirade. For me, it was enough to know what I believed in, and as far as I was concerned Kanye could go fuck himself (that sentiment holds true to this day), Calvin Harris was an immature brat (which I realized when he got in a Twitter feud with Zayn Malik of all people) but I wasn't about to get involved in a social media feud myself. This was way too far outside of my comfort zone, I prefer the safe and cozy anonymity of my blog thank you very much.
And so Taylor dropped off the grid. No more posts, no more appearances, no more concerts. I had no idea when I would hear back from her again. I actually had no idea if I would ever hear from her again. She had basically gone radio silent without even a hint of instruction as to what we were supposed to do with our lives now that she had taken herself out of them. So I moved on. And then one day, just when we had almost all but forgotten about her, she wiped all her social media accounts. All the pictures of the Girl Squad, of Calvin Harris, of the parties she attended and the parties she threw, of her previous glamorous life. Gone in the blink of an eye. It was another stroke of genius, an unprecedented marketing move that guaranteed the world had its attention fixed on her. That was how she dropped Reputation. A social media blitz campaign that culminated in a music video that gave Beyonce a run for her money as most meta pop queen. Taylor's self-awareness coupled with her lyrical talent is reflected in her unequivocal ability to take control of her own narrative. Once again we underestimated her and once again she surprised us all.
I will admit that Look What You Made Me Do is by far my least favorite song on Reputation. And yet, it came out at a time when I was really angry with the world, upset, and in a dark place (which only got darker after the 2016 elections), not so unlike Taylor herself. It became my rage song because I can't do death metal so angry pop is the best I got. But when the rest of the album was released, it was nothing like anyone expected. Although the lead single revolved around revenge and killing the old versions of herself, the rest of the album was about the beginnings of a rebirth. Delicate, Call It What You Want, and New Year's Day - three of my favorite songs on the album - are all about the start of a relationship and how we can get through anything with that solid support and foundation (quick shout out to another one of my favorites Getaway Car, which doesn't follow this theme but deserves a mention). It's like movie Albus Dumbledore once said, “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” And in all the darkness, Taylor helped me find the light. Reputation may have driven away a lot of old-timer Swiftie country loyalists, but it solidified this fan in its ranks forever.
So when Taylor started a new bright, colorful, social media campaign with the promise of a new album earlier this year, I knew I had to listen to it, but I went in cautious. She had managed to make two albums already that I needed to own, and only two other artists have ever managed that for me: Vampire Weekend (their count as up to 4) and George Ezra (he's at 2). I was skeptical that she could do it again, or at least I wasn't sure I believed she could make something that I liked even better. With the release of her first two singles, I wasn't sold. But then Lover came out, and just like that, she proved me wrong.
Listening to the titular song is what I imagine falling in love should feel like. The entire album goes to show just how far our Taylor has come in her journey of self-discovery and self-love. It's clear that she has found comfort and acceptance of who she is, and you can hear that sense of peace throughout every song. It's a career defining, chart topping compilation, and I'd argue Lover is Taylor Swift at her finest. An absolute delight, I listened to this album on repeat every day for the first month, and to this day I still play through it usually at least once every other day. On my worst days, it's what motivates me to get up in the morning and lulls me to sleep when I lie awake at night. It takes up my entire YouTube watch history, which would have been embarrassing in a team meeting when I was sharing my screen except I'm a proud Taylor Swift fan now so I used this opportunity to plug her album to my coworkers.
And this brings us to where we are today, with me staying up past my normal bedtime so I have a shot at seeing this real life wonder woman in concert. In case you're wondering, in the span of writing this I did manage to snag some tickets! I don't really believe in superstitions, but it did almost feel like playing the album and writing this post put the concert ticket gods on my side. Whether it was meant to be or sheer dumb luck, I'll take it because it means I'll have another chapter to add to this journey in a year or so. And I hope to continue adding chapters in the years to come because I'm now in it for the long haul. We may have reached the end of this love story for the time being, but I have a feeling this is going to be a lifelong friendship. So good luck to everyone out there on the hunt for concert tickets and if you're going to be at Lover Fest East, I'll see you there!
As I sit here, waiting in a virtual queue for the chance to buy tickets to Lover Fest 2020, I thought I would honor Taylor Swift by writing yet another blog post about her. And me. What better way to show the fan dedication that landed me a registered presale spot (even if I'm so far down the list that Ticketmaster can't even tell me what my spot in line is) than to tell my Taylor Swift fan story?
Spoilers, it's not a very moving or interesting tale, but I've got a lot of time to kill so why not. If I finish early I can maybe even move on to the idea of Donald Trump and Late Night TV that I've just concocted in my head. Besides, the montage of me typing out this story is already soundtracked to Lover quietly playing in my living room, so the scene is set, we might as well begin.
Taylor and I were first acquainted some time in 2007 through Our Song. She was a 16 year old country phenom who had just dropped her first album, and I was an awkward 13 year old middle schooler who spent too much time rereading Harry Potter. To be honest, I was not a country music fan (still am not really) and I barely knew who she was. But there was something about that one particular song, how it resonated with my teenage romanticized ideas of romance. After all, that was the point of my life of unrequited school crushes, obsessing over Zac Efron in High School Musical, and too much of The O.C. Pair that state of mind with 4 weeks at an all girls summer camp, and it's no wonder this song became sort of an anthem for us. It was also the first song I learned on the guitar (at summer camp) - a nice break from the Oasis classic Wonderwall - and it marked the beginning of our 12 year relationship.
The next time Taylor popped up on my radar was a year or so later when Love Story made its way into my high school dances. Oh look! I finally got a real number, there are now 1513 people in front of me! She is and has always been a magnificent story-teller, and Love Story was just a testament to her talent. What other 19 year old could dream up such an eloquent happy ending for Romeo and Juliet? Shortly after came You Belong With Me, which emboldened me to go after the boy next door, and White Horse, which got me through the pain when things didn't work out.
After high school, Taylor and I then went through a few years of being acquaintances. I heard about her in passing, a few songs made it through the airwaves to me but I didn't really keep tabs on her. I never sang her praises publicly, I only knew the most popular songs from the radio, and I kept my admiration for her songwriting a secret. To be honest, I never felt comfortable expressing my appreciation of Taylor because of the judgement of my peers and the stigma that came with liking an artist who "only wrote songs about her ex-boyfriends". I mean, my favorite band, to this day, is Vampire Weekend. And when people hear that, they have a really hard time reconciling an indie music lover with someone who also appreciates the Country-Pop Princess. College kids are judgmental, especially hipster Californians who go to Berkeley. I should've just ignored them or asked them "why you gotta be so Mean" but I wasn't mature enough to Shake It Off yet, and neither was Taylor (that would have to wait another four years).
And it may have been because of this that I completely missed out on Speak Now, which was released my freshman year of college (or maybe I was just too busy crying over Toy Story 3). Whatever the cause, it wasn't until a few years later that I would discover some of my favorite ballads from our girl. But I'll get to this later.
In 2012, when Red came out, I also seemed to have just missed the Taylor train. Of course I knew about the goat meme heard around the world, and oddly 22 became an age that I looked forward to just because I knew there would be a song I could play on my 22nd birthday. I also began to become aware of how ridiculously catchy her songs were, initially finding We Are Never Getting Back Together to be repetitive and childish until it got lodged in my head and wouldn't leave. But the inkling of there being something special right under my nose never quite crystalized into a complete awareness so I went through my college years never fully realizing what I had missed. In the same way that Taylor was just sliding gradually into pop, I was sliding gradually into a fandom, albeit she was doing it consciously, I was not.
Then 1989 happened, and there was a seismic shift. When she completed her migration from country to pop, it was like something in the world had changed and nothing would ever be the same again.
I was into her released singles enough that when she decided to play a show at Levi's Stadium, in my backyard, I decided it was time to finally see her live. It also helped that I had a good friend who was a fan from the early days and the two of us had something to celebrate: our one year Google-versaries. So we bought ourselves some tickets and went to the show. That concert changed everything. One show, one night, 18 songs later, and any layers I used to hide this part of me behind fell away completely. As Taylor embraced her place in this world as Queen of Pop, I embraced my place as a Swiftie. I went home and the next day bought my first Taylor Swift CD: the 1989 deluxe edition from target, with 3 additional songs and 3 voice memos. I also rediscovered Speak Now (thanks to the Enchanted / Wildest Dreams mashup) and Red (with all its hidden gems like Begin Again and All Too Well).
But even with my newfound obsession, I was, and still am, a casual Swiftie. When the world came crashing down around her in the summer of 2016, I defended her verbally to those around me but I was not loyal or devoted enough to participate in the social media tirade. For me, it was enough to know what I believed in, and as far as I was concerned Kanye could go fuck himself (that sentiment holds true to this day), Calvin Harris was an immature brat (which I realized when he got in a Twitter feud with Zayn Malik of all people) but I wasn't about to get involved in a social media feud myself. This was way too far outside of my comfort zone, I prefer the safe and cozy anonymity of my blog thank you very much.
And so Taylor dropped off the grid. No more posts, no more appearances, no more concerts. I had no idea when I would hear back from her again. I actually had no idea if I would ever hear from her again. She had basically gone radio silent without even a hint of instruction as to what we were supposed to do with our lives now that she had taken herself out of them. So I moved on. And then one day, just when we had almost all but forgotten about her, she wiped all her social media accounts. All the pictures of the Girl Squad, of Calvin Harris, of the parties she attended and the parties she threw, of her previous glamorous life. Gone in the blink of an eye. It was another stroke of genius, an unprecedented marketing move that guaranteed the world had its attention fixed on her. That was how she dropped Reputation. A social media blitz campaign that culminated in a music video that gave Beyonce a run for her money as most meta pop queen. Taylor's self-awareness coupled with her lyrical talent is reflected in her unequivocal ability to take control of her own narrative. Once again we underestimated her and once again she surprised us all.
I will admit that Look What You Made Me Do is by far my least favorite song on Reputation. And yet, it came out at a time when I was really angry with the world, upset, and in a dark place (which only got darker after the 2016 elections), not so unlike Taylor herself. It became my rage song because I can't do death metal so angry pop is the best I got. But when the rest of the album was released, it was nothing like anyone expected. Although the lead single revolved around revenge and killing the old versions of herself, the rest of the album was about the beginnings of a rebirth. Delicate, Call It What You Want, and New Year's Day - three of my favorite songs on the album - are all about the start of a relationship and how we can get through anything with that solid support and foundation (quick shout out to another one of my favorites Getaway Car, which doesn't follow this theme but deserves a mention). It's like movie Albus Dumbledore once said, “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” And in all the darkness, Taylor helped me find the light. Reputation may have driven away a lot of old-timer Swiftie country loyalists, but it solidified this fan in its ranks forever.
So when Taylor started a new bright, colorful, social media campaign with the promise of a new album earlier this year, I knew I had to listen to it, but I went in cautious. She had managed to make two albums already that I needed to own, and only two other artists have ever managed that for me: Vampire Weekend (their count as up to 4) and George Ezra (he's at 2). I was skeptical that she could do it again, or at least I wasn't sure I believed she could make something that I liked even better. With the release of her first two singles, I wasn't sold. But then Lover came out, and just like that, she proved me wrong.
Listening to the titular song is what I imagine falling in love should feel like. The entire album goes to show just how far our Taylor has come in her journey of self-discovery and self-love. It's clear that she has found comfort and acceptance of who she is, and you can hear that sense of peace throughout every song. It's a career defining, chart topping compilation, and I'd argue Lover is Taylor Swift at her finest. An absolute delight, I listened to this album on repeat every day for the first month, and to this day I still play through it usually at least once every other day. On my worst days, it's what motivates me to get up in the morning and lulls me to sleep when I lie awake at night. It takes up my entire YouTube watch history, which would have been embarrassing in a team meeting when I was sharing my screen except I'm a proud Taylor Swift fan now so I used this opportunity to plug her album to my coworkers.
And this brings us to where we are today, with me staying up past my normal bedtime so I have a shot at seeing this real life wonder woman in concert. In case you're wondering, in the span of writing this I did manage to snag some tickets! I don't really believe in superstitions, but it did almost feel like playing the album and writing this post put the concert ticket gods on my side. Whether it was meant to be or sheer dumb luck, I'll take it because it means I'll have another chapter to add to this journey in a year or so. And I hope to continue adding chapters in the years to come because I'm now in it for the long haul. We may have reached the end of this love story for the time being, but I have a feeling this is going to be a lifelong friendship. So good luck to everyone out there on the hunt for concert tickets and if you're going to be at Lover Fest East, I'll see you there!
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